Woe is Me

That's how I feel these days. I haven't been blogging mainly because I try to live by the credo "if you can't blog anything nice, don't blog anything at all." Well, before you think I up and ran away or something, here goes.

I've had a bit of a blue temperament these days. I've been trying to shake it, but it's here to stay. I'm not always miserable, but I am frequently annoyed and overwhelmed and frustrated. I have overserved past the point of burnout at church, so now if anyone so much as looks at me with the inlination of asking me to serve...I just get bitter.

This is our fourth holiday season 2,400 miles away from family. When we first moved out here, we had every intention of flying out for at least one of the holidays per year. It hasn't happened yet. For one, the reality of having one income reverberates in many areas of our lives. Yes, my dad works for Delta, but try to get a standby flight the week before Christmas. I would be laughed out of the airport for even attempting it. That and a roundtrip flight for 4 to California would probably eat nearly a month's worth of income. (Not exaggerating...I just checked it out.) The one year we *might* have been able to do it, I was 2 weeks away from delivering Natalie. Airports treat you like a security risk if you are 6+ months pregnant. I'm sure TSA would have had a conniption fit if I even drove by the place at 8 1/2 months gestation.

This has all been somewhat bearable because Mike and I try to focus on our own small family. He typically takes the week off prior to Christmas, and we just spend some quality time together doing fun holiday stuff. Over a year ago, he requested the same week off for this coming year, and was granted his request. Just the other night I was talking to him about what I was wanting US to do Christmas Eve with the kids. He was all excited about it. I asked him today which specific days he was taking off for the holiday and he said "Chrismas Day...why?" Apparantly he decided to work on his vacation week, and has committed to working Christmas Eve. But that's ok, because he's off at 5pm. (Not exactly, being as he's helping to run the sound/video/etc for our Christmas Eve service at church which starts at 6pm.)

I don't know when he planned on telling me this, but it seriously sounded like he had every intention of being in two places at the same time. We won't even see Mike until 7:30/8:00pm on Christmas Eve. Again, no family around to pal around with. My friends honestly do have lives and families nearby. If they're not already traveling, then they'll be spending time with their family.

I am just annoyed and am about ready to string my hubby up by his toes.