Yes, I am having flashbacks of the novel (and subsequent movie) Apocalypse Now. I was tortured with the novel and the movie in composition and literature classes in college. Either way, that's the one phrase going through my head after my most recent child-rearing experience.
If you are a parent, or an aunt/uncle even, I am sure you've played a role in the following unfortunate drama. Picture this: toddler daughter in a toy store playing quietly. Then you happen upon the smell, indicative only of a soiled diaper. No biggie. You were planning on leaving then, and had plans of changing her in the back of the Blazer. Carry her back to the truck in 104 degree heat, only to realize that she essentially cleansed her body of every foreign object possibe. Doodie is EVERYWHERE...out the top of her shorts, up her back (inside shirt), on your arm, and ultimately on the floorboard of the back of the truck. Naturally you laid her down only before happening upon the fact that there was crap all over you.
Thank God for the bare essentials enabling me to somewhat deal with this. This was easily a 3 alarm situation, requiring a minimum of 7 minutes, 20 wipes, a spare outfit, a fresh diaper, and a mini-shower for two with a life-saving bottle of hand sanitizer. Now if only I had a plastic bag or two...life would have been grand.
For those who are curious...yes, I saved the vomit-inducing outfit. It's my favorite shirt of hers, and the shorts match. At least my grass will get some water as I chisel chunks off of the outfit with the garden hose.
BLECH!!!!
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