"No"

"No." This uttered by my passive, peace-making husband.

I had plans to go to my Friday night knitting group tonight. Today Mike said 'no'. Now before anyone thinks that this is some dominant-aggressive male move on his part, I'll let you know that I'm secretly proud of him. Anyone who knows Mike knows that he is not the stereotypical, pig-headed male. I have had many single friends in the past ask me where they could purchase their very own Mike. Once they discover he leaves the toilet seat down EVERY time, it's a done deal and triggers countless Google and E-bay searches for "Mike" and "toilet seat down".

Even with that, it's not always perfect. We had a small altercation the other week. Normally I don't blog these types of things, but this is an insight into the realness of our relationship.

I asked Mike one afternoon if it was alright for me to go out that evening. Some girlfriends wanted to meet for dinner. It was last-minute, so I wasn't sure how keen he'd be about it. He said very quickly, and in an easy-going manner "sure, do what you want. Have a good time". Everything in his tone was supportive, with no indication of hesitation. If I dare say, he even sounded happy that I was getting out to have some time for me.

Well, I missed the mark on that one.

As I prepared to walk out the door that evening, the truth came out. He'd had a bad day at work. He really didn't want me to go out, and basically threw a mini fit right then and there. He had told me earlier on that I could because he thought that's what I wanted him to tell me. I then told him I'd cancel plans with my friends, but he forced me to go. So I left. Really, what choice did I have? You give me permission, then recant it, I try to stay, you force me out. Fine, see ya later...the baby eats at 7:00. Somehow I still felt like a heel; exchanging my three kidlets and one poor overtaxed husband in trade for a crayon-free restaurant dinner with multi-syllabic conversation. But wait, I did nothing wrong. What just happened???

When I came home, I told him to be more fair to me...and consequently to himself. Had I even detected the slightest hint that he didn't want me to go, then I would not have made plans. But with giving me permission in the supportive, happy husband sort of way...well, what am I to make of that? So I told him that, from that point forward, he had to be honest with me. If he'd had a bad day or whatever, "no" is a perfectly appropriate answer, and it's my job to respect that. I'm a big girl and I can handle it.

So today he told me "no". And naturally I quietly pouted for a bit. After all, I've had a couple of rough days as well. After licking my wounds for a bit, I found myself relieved that he put on his big-boy pants and laid the law down for me. He later asked if I would be able to go to the Sunday knitting group instead. Seriously, it's all the same to me. Plus, the Sunday knit session is WAY longer. Wonder if he knew that. Hee hee.

Now don't go telling him that I was happy he told me 'no'. I don't need this to be his new battle cry.